I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
