I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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