I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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