I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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