Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
