i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
