So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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