I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
