Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
