I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
