Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜