as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
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