Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
