Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Randomize
