Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
