I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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