Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Randomize
