that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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