i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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