Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
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