I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
