Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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