If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
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I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
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He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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