two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
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