i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
