just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
