hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
