Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
