It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
