Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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