Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Randomize
