Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Randomize
