Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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