Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
