so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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