i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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