dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
