I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
