I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
