I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
