remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
that's an acceptable place to lick
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize