would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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