I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Randomize
