You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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