You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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