Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I just found puke in my bra..
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Randomize
