it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Sext me about skeletons
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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