At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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