For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
