guys are not supposed to queef...right?
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
