she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
