At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize