i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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