I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
