I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
