Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
