yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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