Rock
Scissors
Fuck
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
