I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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