you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Randomize
