Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
my phone needs a breathalizer
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
