so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Randomize
