Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Randomize