and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
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By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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