the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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