thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
