and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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