I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
two words: eviction party
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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